Dealing with a bully at work?

NeuroCoaching helped me overcome a major setback when I became a target of a powerful bully at work‼️

Once in a meeting, I had the courage to put in doubt what she was saying. I will never forget her look 👀 when I said those words.

Her cold, piercing blue eyes 👀 looked at me very briefly saying “you are dead💀 ‼️ “. I noticed that, but then forgot all about it, thinking she’ll get over it. But she didn’t. Not even after I admitted that she was right and my doubt was wrong. I was already in her black book 📖

She started a campaign to undermine my reputation, my authority with my team, my job security, my financial and physical well-being.

It was a full-on cold, calculated, systematic, and sustained personal attack. On me and on my boss, whose position she wanted.

At first I didn’t realise what was going on. But I noticed a change in other colleagues’ behaviour. People who used to be friendly, suddenly were not able to look into my eyes👀 .

The atmosphere became glacial. I started to feel uneasy but still didn’t fully understand what was happening. I tried to talk to her. I wanted to understand what I might change in my behaviour to be able to work with her. I met with a tough rubber wall. Nothing I could do or say would penetrate the wall of indifference. Everything would just bounce back on me with no effect on her.

One day I found out what had been going on since that fatal meeting. I discovered proof that she was actively undermining my position when I heard her telling my team not to listen to me, and telling them to withhold information from me and from my boss.

I began to feel physically sick. I would lie in bed 🛌 feeling unable to get up, completely exhausted and feverish. But no fever‼️🤒. It was like a serious case of flu, but without the symptoms. I felt unable to move, or to do anything. I was unable to get out of bed and completely unable to work. This lasted three days. Three days in bed 🛏. But no sickness – just complete exhaustion, physical, emotional and mental. Later on I learned from a friend that my experience was not an uncommon response to bullying and was known as a breakdown episode. As it turned out, my three day breakdown episode was not nearly as bad as these sometimes are.

After this I said “no way”, I am not going to sacrifice my health for my job! I started to react. I am not someone who’d get easily scared and I fought back by reporting the bully’s behaviour to HR. The human resources representative talked to my team, asking them about the episodes when they were told not to listen to me and to withhold information. They denied everything. They lied to the HR person out of fear of this increasingly powerful and influential bully.

I went to see my doctor. I told him about what was going on. He said: just leave! As soon as possible! But what to do in the meantime? He prescribed medication. Before going to the pharmacy, I checked the medication online and found that it was a pill for heart disease! I didn’t go to the pharmacy.

I turned to NeuroCoaching… I would yawn, stretch, relax, ground myself in my highest values on hourly basis. Each time it was like resetting the brain. I felt the heavy weight lifted off my mind, a wave of relaxation wash over my brain and I would be refreshed and focused for the next hour.

I also tried to find something positive in the bully. No doubt, she has a high level of knowledge and experience, there were things I could learn from her. In some ways it was a shame we couldn’t work together. Also … she has very beautiful hair. I started to call her “a lady with beautiful hair“.

I tried really hard to find positive aspects in the situation. There always are positive aspects. I am now really glad and grateful to the lady with beautiful hair that she pushed me forward!

I decided to enrol in the NeuroCoaching course in order to help others overcome stressful situations, often beyond their control, faster and in a better way.

A subsequent blog describes more about the process.

If you’d like to book a free 15 minute consultation session, please contact me through
https://www.facebook.com/JitkaNeuroCoaching or https://jitkaneurocoaching.com/contact/.

Published by Jitka Horcickova

You know how some people get bullied in the workplace? And sometimes flashbacks from the past are haunting them even years after they left that situation? Well, what I do is to help them remove the emotional charge from their traumatic experiences and find their path to freedom.

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